


Meoweels and The Art of Dress Up

by Fox_Salz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cat Puns, Dress Up, F/F, F/M, Fish Puns, Hair Braiding, Horse puns, Innuendo, Meoweels, Meowrails, Multi, Pale Polyamory (Homestuck), Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Puns & Word Play, background Equius/Hal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: Equius "lets" his moirails get him ready for his date.





	Meoweels and The Art of Dress Up

**Author's Note:**

> Man this is another ship I've been wanting to write for a bit and am using [Conciliatory Month](https://diamondsandclubsmonth.tumblr.com) as my excuse lmao.

It had been quite the adjustment, after the game. Hal and Equius had decided to split while remaining quite, ahem, _close_. That was certainly a change. Even more so was the fact he had two moirails now.

His and Nepeta’s bond was as strong as ever, reinforced from all they’d endured during the game. Feferi’s presence was interesting to say the least. She and Nepeta had become very attached during their time as Feferasprite—Equius was both disappointed and relieved he never got the opportunity to interact with her—and from what he’d been told apparently Nepeta’s pale feelings had sort of rubbed off on her. At first Equius been scandalized by the thought of having two trolls in one quadrant. Then Hal had supplied him with the hand drawn image of him piling with both of them and, well, who was Equius to deny a highblood like her? Even if the caste system no longer was in place.

Equius was proud, but also very, very weak. He knew his flaws.

So, the three of them were _meoweels_ as the other two had coined. No matter how many times he denied the term they just kept using it. Sometimes they chanted it while he covered his face and sighed.

Having one moirail was a handful enough. Two was a whirlwind impossible to escape from. At times it was incredibly overwhelming; both Nepeta and Feferi were lively and willful. Equius was happy, though. His pump biscuit burned with a pale fire for them both. He would endure anything for them.

Even enduring them.

“Must we really braid shells into my mane?”

“Of course, Shellquius! It’ll give that extra oomph to your outfit. Anemone whale look at you and sea a troll—“

“On the prowl for romance!” Nepeta helpfully chimed in.

“Oh my hoofness.”

They weren’t necessarily wrong, but there was no reason to word it like that!

The two had been fussing over him all evening, getting him ready for his date. He’d tried dissuading them to no avail, so here he was in most of the outfit they had apparently gotten Kanaya to make for him without his knowledge—it had suddenly made sense why they had decided one evening that it would be fun to take his measurements, no ulterior motive whatsoever—while they braided his hair. He steadfastly refused to admit all the attention was nice. They were well aware how much he liked his hair played with, though, and was sure they knew he secretly didn’t mind this all that much.

The pieces of shells were a bit to handle, though. But he let them do it with minimal complaints. They were enjoying themselves and that made this worth it.

Their constant teasing and innuendo, however, was much harder to deal with.

“Your date won’t be able to kelp but fall at your feet,” Feferi teased, pinching his cheek.

Equius gave an aggravated click. It earned him a double pap showdown. They were the victors, Equius melting under their touches.

“Almoist finished,” Feferi assured, fiddling with his braids in the back.

“Mew are gonna pawsitively love it!”

“I canter hold my excitement.”

A pair of mischievous giggles was his only warning before both of them kissed either of his cheeks. Heat swept over him, and judging by their twin snickers he was undoubtedly blushing.

“Don’t be difficlawt, Equius! Mew just let us work our magic.”

“I am letting you do as you will. I marely have a few reservations.”

“Like what?” Nepeta wondered, crawling into his lap to adjust his hair at the front. Shells jangled as she worked.

“Well, I colt go without the jacket. It’s a little much on top of all this.”

“Whale, the jacket is necessary to tie it all tokelper!”

“‘Tokelper’? That seems like a reach.”

“Shoosh,” Feferi replied with an absentminded pap. “You can handle one clamsy pun whale I’m busea getting you all gussied up.”

“Yeah, Equius,” Nepeta teased, “don’t be a beach.”

“You are terrible influences on each other.”

They shared a look over his shoulder and in unison agreed, “Yup!”

Equius sighed with much more fondness than he had intended, and much more than he should show them for fear of encouraging their shenanigans. Not that they needed it, but too much encouragement and he couldn’t claim innocence for the things they put him through. Such as dress up.

“You shoald twist that one the other wave.”

“Mew got it, Flufferi!”

Nepeta fiddled with the braid swooping across the front of his horns.

“Isn’t this foalishness over yet?”

“Glub, you’re just brimming with complaints tonight, Shellquius. Do we need to have a feelings jam before your date?”

He could feel her grin full of fangs and friendly teasing. He could also feel heat climbing up the back of his neck.

“You know my feelings good and well.”

Feferi laughed, tugging on a braid. After a few more moments of fussing and fiddling both her and Nepeta let out happy exclamations.

“Conchgratulations, Shellquius! You’re fin-ally done.”

“Mew look purrfect!”

“Kalemost. Get your jacket on so we can sea the fin-al look.”

Knowing there was no way out of it, and just grateful it meant he’d be free from this nonsense, Equius did as he was told. His moirails leaned against each other, critical eyes raking over him. He shuffled nervously. Silently he hoped they didn’t find anything else to fuss over.

Feferi had come up with the silly notion to dress him up in historical finery, including the shells in his braids done up in an old seadweller style. It was meant to keep hair from obscuring his nonexistent fins, which she had told him would also have been decorated with pretty baubles. Since he was in fact finless, they’d instead decorated his horn.

At least the rest of the ensemble was less ridiculous, though it certainly felt so on him. The jacket was the most over the top thing, a duster falling a few inches below his knees that was far fancier than anything Equius had ever worn. While its color was indigo, it had olive and fuchsia embroideries around the sleeve ends and collar, down the sides where it buttoned. It was all quite grand. Too grand for him.

“I am going to rip this,” Equius informed grimly. There was no doubt about the outcome, only a guilt that his meoweels—_moirails_, darn it—had worked so hard for something that would meet a terrible end.

“Oh whale!”

“Mewl still look good, Equius. Your date will love it.”

“And if you do rip it, that’s fin. You make it look _good_.”

“Besides, he’s just gonna rip them off mew anyway!”

The pair digressed into a giggling fit that left Equius incredibly flustered. Sweat was rolling down his hot face, and he made a note to stock up on towels before heading out.

“You are both the absolutely lewdest menaces. Cease this foalishness at once and tell me I’m free to go.”

Still snickering, they pulled themselves upright and shared a look.

“I think he looks furry good.”

“_Purrfect_,” Feferi agreed. “If anemone cod eelsist him they’re a doofish.”

“He’s pawgeous! Defurinitely gonna catch the eye of efurryone.”

“Water you wanna bet we don’t sea him until until tomorrow?” Feferi teased, eyeing him up and down. Sweat ran down Equius’ forehead.

“Purrobably not! I doubt he’ll even remempurr to message us afur his date.”

“Whale, to be fair, I eely doubt the date’ll end before sunrise.”

“You both enjoy this too much,” Equius grumbled, hands behind his back to resist the urge to tug at his soaked collar.

“Purrhaps.”

“Just a shad.”

Equius rolled his eyes. There was another admonishment on the tip of his tastelicker but before he could get it out there were hands suddenly pushing him towards the front door and out.

“Alright, enough glubbing, go get your man.”

“Pounce and catch your prey!”

“Must you word it like that?”

Two voices chimed in unison, “Yes!”

Then the hive door thudded closed behind him and he sighed, straightened his clothes, and headed for his date.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a long exercise in writing puns.
> 
> Also Equius deserves to be dressed up. Let him be fancy.


End file.
